Extending Grace

Let’s just be honest. When we feel like others don’t deserve grace, showing it can be nearly impossible. Yet at some other times, it feels like a fairly simple task that is natural and easy… usually when others have been kind to us; of course, it’s simple to just reciprocate that kindness. The grace I’m talking about is “unmerited favor”.

As an example, I make a mistake, then I internally punish myself for being human, creating tons of undue stress within myself, and then wonder why I feel useless and worthless. It’s a vicious cycle that I’ve heard many of us express experiencing in our own lives.

Often times we hold ourselves to an high expectation (or even perfection) and find ourselves overly disappointed, devastated or angry with ourselves for missing the mark or perceiving a failure. We don’t take into account our own tenderheartedness and extend the consolation we might to another very ‘human’ human.

Instead, we punish ourselves; and more often than not, quite harshly. When we can remember grace for ourselves, we can respond differently. What we often really need is understanding and grace because we are already suffering enough by our own hand.

I am sure many of us have heard the old adage…“Hindsight is 20/20”… well, it’s absolutely, 100% true. Most of the decisions we make would look different if we knew how the incidences were going to play out. Unfortunately, we’re not privy to all of the information before we make choices in life. (My crystal ball certainly does not work). We just have to do the best we can with what we know.

This is certainly a tough pill to swallow when we find out that things were not as they seemed. We did the best we could with the knowledge we had, but somehow things didn’t turn out like they were “supposed to.” We get so frustrated with ourselves for not being able to see the future!

As a parent and caregiver, we face an interesting combination of frustrations and blessings. We get to be the ones to help our children navigate the difficult experiences, as well as the exciting ones. Not to mention the delicate balance of educating people in our lives to what is and isn’t alright/supportive/conducive to connection, etc. Adding this all together has the makings of total overwhelm.

So it’s good to remember that we are all human and we will make mistakes. We are finite and some days we may not get anything “done” on our to-do list… and that is absolutely alright! That people are in our lives because they care about us, and while they might not know how to show up for you and your loved ones, we can extend grace to them too. So by remembering that grace is an “unmerited favor”, it can actually give us the space to feel why it is such a precious gift.

I hope you can find some grace for yourself today.

Hugs,

Pamela