Feeling the BIG Feelings
This week in our Rare Family Dynamics group, we touched upon the very tender subject of anticipatory grief. We asked some big questions including:
* How do you make space for the big feelings?
and
* How do you nurture the inner space of silent love that can hold it all?
The nature of emotions is that when met with an open heart they pass. I have never met an emotion that was not temporary. And to be able to experience the pain of the harsh reality that your Rare child will likely leave this world before you do takes a lot.
Tenderness
Maybe you read a book where a young person dies or there is a reference to a young death on television, this can bring up deep tenderness.
What if when you feel tender, you allow yourself to be there and feel rather than telling yourself to fuck up and keep a stiff upper lip. Be compassionate and allow yourself to have your feelings.
Grieving the diagnosis
When you first get a diagnosis for your child's rare disease, it may bring up many feelings, including anger. You may even find yourself screaming and crying. Perhaps you ask God, Great Spirit, Divine Goddess, why???
Be kind
When these feelings arise, allow yourself to feel them and set boundaries, so you do not get completely pulled under by your emotions. Take sips from the cup of anticipatory grief, anger and sadness. Process what you can, when you can. Slow down, feel the feelings that are arising in the present.
Feeling supported
Some things that can help you feel, supported and stabilized as you experience, your feelings might be:
Hugging yourself – it’s reassuring
Place your hand on your heart and imagine it is your wise woman's hand. This will help you to self-soothe.
Meditate
Pray
Journal
Breathe a lot
Please come and join us. You are not alone. Feeling your big feelings in this amazing community can be very supportive. We are here and welcome you as you ARE.
Coming up this week: Becoming Resilient, Resourced & Tending to Your Own Garden
When caregiving has been at the center of your life and identity, the end of caregiving can trigger loss, grief, guilt, and unanticipated feelings of relief. The feelings of grief can last for years when your Rare child dies.
You may experience new waves of feelings when milestones arrive that your Rare child would have hit. You might feel depressed or unmotivated which is natural. There will be opportunities to redefine your identity, value yourself, affirm your inherent goodness and find a new sense of purpose. Go gently and trust the process. Please join us for a powerful conversation regardless of where you are on the raregiver’s journey.
You Belong Here
As a Raregiver, you belong here. We gather from across the world to support each other. Your presence is a contribution.
Zoom Link: Click Here
Looking forward to being with you,
Padma
