How to be a Skilled Team Player
This week in our Rare Family Dynamics meeting, we explored the idea of team play. We asked these questions: What does it feel like to be on your own team? How do you receive your team which includes your family, friends, and practitioners?
Here is a practice for you to expand your capacity to receive what is being given.
Start by closing your eyes and taking some gentle breaths. Feel your body resting in the chair or on the bed. Then do the following:
Begin with self-acknowledgment. Honor, appreciate and acknowledge yourself. Then turn your attention outward, and do the same for your team.
Feel the gifts that you are bringing to your team and those that others are bringing as well.
Take a moment to breathe and notice if there is anything that gets in the way of receiving what is being given. Paws and feel.
Back yourself up
Sometimes backing yourself up, means accepting life as it is and letting go of what you thought would happen. One of our raregivers told a story of how her whole family got pneumonia right before Christmas. They obviously did not have a big Christmas dinner with their family. Everyone slowed down and they ate soup for Christmas dinner. A new Christmas dinner of soup was born! Being sick together with pneumonia shifted their lives to a simpler experience of Christmas.
At times leading your team means letting go and recognizing what it means to be in integrity with yourself.
Constraints, foster creativity, and boundaries invite you to think outside the box.
How do you talk to yourself?
The story we tell ourselves becomes our reality. So, if you tell yourself, I’m resilient and trust myself, this intern supports your family and your community. An important aspect of being resilient is having a resilient mind which means that you practice mindfulness and presence.
Thriving
Thriving within the confines of our child’s condition means that you are living within limited circumstances. One raregiver’s child just got his first wheelchair and she was reflecting but now they are limited by stairs and ramps are preferred. Leading your team means telling the truth about what is.
Life is not 50-50
It’s important to remember that life is not 50-50 and it’s not useful to keep score of who does what in your home. You can trust that it will even out overtime. Your partner will do their tasks and you will do yours. Sometimes it will feel like one of you is doing a lot more and this ebbs and flows. Practice appreciation and acceptance to build your team.
Remember, valuing yourself, and being a true friend to yourself, is the first step in leading your team.
Coming up this week: Other Caregivers: fostering healthy relationships, communicating with the people that also love your Rare Child
As a Raregiver, you are the leader of a team of people who support you and your Rare family. In this session, we will discuss what it takes to foster healthy relationships with the professionals and other family members who are on your team. What are the skills that you need to be a good leader? Communicating with the people who also love your Rare child requires presence, acknowledgement and diplomacy. What works for you? Where do you struggle? Please bring your wisdom and your questions. This will be a rich discussion where you will leave with practical tools that can be readily applied to your life.
You Belong Here
This group is open to all raregivers regardless of gender or relationship status. Join our amazing community of raregivers who get you. Come be seen, heard and deeply understood. Let the community hold you. We meet on Tuesdays at 10am PT. Come for all or a portion of the session. Your presence is a contribution.
Zoom Link: Click Here
I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving and look forward to being with you soon.
Warmly,
Padma
