How To Be Mindful In A Mindless World

Pamela Alma Weymouth

It’s common wisdom that you need to be pushed to the brink to embrace change. For me my brink came before children, in my mid-thirties, in form of a stomach ache that would not quit. That plus the death of a dear friend and a rough bout of insomnia forced me to begrudgingly accept that yoga, meditation and mindfulness might have something to teach me. 

Raising a child with a rare disease might be your brink. Toss in the pandemic and God knows we can all use a little more mindfulness to carry us through it all. So what really is mindfulness and why should you care?

John Kabat-Zinn, who created the The Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction class program, which now graces hospitals across our nation, says, “Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally.”

Or, as one of my students said, it’s means, “Just be.”

Mindfulness is about eating dinner without picking up your phone. 

It’s about listening to your kid without running through your grocery list.

It’s about driving without drinking your coffee, texting at the stop lights, checking your music feed, or telling your kids to stop bickering while opening your mail and driving through the Stop sign.

I once went to a restaurant to find a table of ten tween boys all lined up on stools, each of them staring at their phones. Sound familiar? Mindfulness is putting away the phone, tasting your food, talking to your friends, really listening. 

It takes dedication and practice. Sometimes we lean into our devices to escape something painful and hard that’s right in front of us. Sometimes feeling the discomfort and letting it go is actually better for us, as it will eventually find us anyhow. 

Why bother? Mindfulness (and its twin sisters yoga and meditation) have been scientifically proven to boost the immunity of people who are sick, reduce stress and pain, and profoundly alter the brain. 

I am no expert. Even as I write this I am sitting on a chair at my son’s diving class. Muscled teens are splashing into the blue water, doing flips, feet pointed, arms aloft. It’s a beautiful sunny California day. I wish I could walk the dogs around the track. I keep remembering that I still have to go to the grocery store. I stop writing every few minutes to take a photo of my son. I am doing exactly what I am telling you not to do because I was a victim of poor planning and my blog is late. I am stressed because my monkey mind is going in a million directions. I cannot focus. 

There are a few things that help me be mindful. Sweat inducing exercise. Yoga. Nature. My dogs. Meditating. Journaling. Jasmine pearl tea. Being on time. My dogs. My children, sometimes! Turning off my phone.  

The smart-phone stole a little piece of my freedom. Now I must work to restore it.

How can you be mindful amidst the challenge of raising a rare child, or multiple children, amidst the constant pulls of life? Here are a few things that help me. Start small. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

1. Set your phone to Do Not Disturb. Only allow calls from your “favorites”, your child, your caregiver, potential emergency calls. Real emergencies. Block the rest and respond when you are ready.

2. Turn off all “notifications.” Do you really need to know about breaking political news? Do you really need to be alerted every time your podcast updates? Figure out what you really can let go of.

3. Turn off the TV or set a time limit. Decide which shows are valuable and which are stealing your precious time.  

4. Get the Forrest App. Grow a tree when you want to focus. 

5. Use Do Not Disturb While Driving App. Just drive.

6. Break a sweat doing your favorite exercise. Start small.

7. Try yoga at your local zoom studio or with gaia.com

8. Try meditation, 1-5 min to start with Headspace app or Gaia.com or with Padma Gordon’s Tuesday Spiritual Group.

9. Keeping a journal. 5-10 minutes a day. Get it out of your head and onto paper.

10. Eat mindfully. Savor every bite.  

How do you build mindfulness into your day?

xo Pamela

Want to learn more? Join us Thursday at 11am PST/2pm EST for Journaling & Resilience Group. Confidential. Free. Learn, Share, Get Support. RSVP in workshops or join here: https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZMsdeyuqj0rGtz0MowiGsLN77bd0Ij4v3gW