Padma Gordon

Oftentimes we don't even realize that we are living in our heads or what I'm calling "the attic." In our Spiritual Self-Care Support Group this week, we explored moving from the head to the heart, or descending from the attic to the living room. This is the movement from the mind of doubt which is a distraction from fear, to the heart of love. How would your life be different if you spent more time in your heart?

Padma Gordon

How do you stay connected to the light when moments of anxiety, fear, anger and despair arise? We explored this question in our Spiritual Self-Care Support Group this past week. Connecting with your Higher Power and engaging with other Rare mothers were two of the big ones. One group member shared, "For 20 years I felt lonely inside. Connecting with God and with other Rare mothers fills that space and gives me the strength to move ahead."

Pamela Alma Weymouth

What if it was possible to do less in order to be more present? If you are rolling your eyes internally—I feel you. You have a child with a rare condition, you have a project with a deadline, you’ve got a roof that needs patching, three thousand emails, an insurance battle to fight and carrots to be chopped.

Padma Gordon

We began our group by delving into the topic of how to stay connected to peace and after our meditation and journaling time, one Rare mother shared that she was “under construction” when it came to really being able to listen deeply and consistently. Right then it was clear that this would be the title of today’s blog post. Why? BECAUSE WE ARE ALL UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

Padma Gordon

Taking time to turn your attention inside is crucial and perhaps even more so for you as a Rare mother. Rare mothers are used to serving which is the opposite of receiving. Receiving is a muscle and like any muscle you are training, it needs to be exercised. Taking time to walk strengthens your lungs and legs. How about toning your receiving muscle? It is a great practice to take time for yourself and even just a few minutes here and there makes a huge difference. Besides, you are worth it! 

Pamela Alma Weymouth

When you are falling in love you are generally busy assessing how handsome your mate is, how good they are at making restaurant reservations, or how good they are at balancing a spoon on their nose. You rarely have the chance to factor in how good they are at handling trips to the ER or if they’re good at three in the morning when there’s a kid throwing up and it’s their turn. Spoon balancing is not always useful at three in the morning. This is when you want reliable, generous, unflappable, grounded. Sometimes you might be lucky enough to get both—and I salute you. Many of us are not so lucky—instead we must work with the human flaws that our partner brings to the table.

Pamela Alma Weymouth

Being told to engage in good sleep habits when you have a child with a rare condition may just be about as unhelpful as being told to calm down when your brain is on fire. One of the rare mothers in one of my journaling classes this week pointed out as I was trying to share useful sleep tips that when she put on her sleep meditation the teacher said in a soothing voice, “You may relax now, everyone is safe.” Right, she said, “but that’s not true for me.” How can she believe that her child is ever really safe when she has to wake several times a night to check on her well-being? How can she ever really relax when she is constantly monitoring, worrying, checking tubes, giving meds, cleaning up messes, running to the hospital? 

Padma Gordon

In our Spiritual Self-Care Group this past week, we looked at what supports you to shine the warm light of your loving attention inside. As a Rare mother, your attention shines outward much of the time. You are caring for your child which means that you are doing a ton and that even when you are asleep, your nervous system may be on red alert. Some call this hyper-vigilance and for many Rare mothers this is the norm. 

Pamela Alma Weymouth

Last week one of my students introduced me to the term “Revenge Bedtime Procrastination”, a term popularized in China by millennials and Gen Zers who work endlessly long hours and/or have kids and want to steal back their time by staying up too late—and then paying the price the next day with more exhaustion. Sound familiar?